I Lost My fiancé, Best friend, and Soul-mate :: Personal Narrative Writing

I Lost My fianc, Best friend, and Soul-mateSometimes the worst bonds of confinement are the invisible hotshots. It is not always physical chains that keep iodine prisoner. The strongest force of imprisonment I have ever felt was not to another human or a concrete cell of both type, but to an emotion. One of the most powerful emotions God has given to us is Grief. Grief can entangle a human being in her suffocating web in an instant. Then she takes days, months, years, even decades to fully run through her grip on the soul. Last April I began to feel the painful vise of Grief take hold of me like I never imagined. I have been grieving for a lost family for well e verywhere a year. Seventeen months ago I lost my fianc, best friend, and soul-mate. We had been go out for three years. During this time we had been through some very challenging trials. The biggest one being his decision to join the United States Marine Corp. Over the take to the woods of his last deployment (which lasted 7 months) he was involved in some very intense training and covert missions. Upon his return he was a changed man. I no longer knew the cold, heartless, angry person who returned from the Middle East. The loving and care man whom I desired to be my husband was nowhere to be found. His training in the Marines had stripped away all aspects of his personality. The only things go away were the anger, rage and meanness that made him such an outstanding Marine to grow with. Somehow he had lost the power to turn these emotions on and off. The relationship had to be abandoned for my own safety. I experienced overwhelming feelings of unhappiness and loneliness. I had previously read about Grief, specifically, Elizabeth Kubler Ross and the five stages of grief associated with all type of loss. I can now tell you from experience that edition about denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance is far different from very living through these extremely po werful emotions. I can honestly say I felt these stages full-throttle. It is much more than a growth of gently gliding from one into the next. More like bouncing in between them and sometimes lingering in one feeling for an encompassing period of time.